


The heart is not a relatively simple thing

by VictorianLesbian



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2425130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictorianLesbian/pseuds/VictorianLesbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All my tumblr's one-shots on Vastra and Jenny in a neat little package.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lizard

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr prompt: 1)Vastra finds a dead lizard 2)Jenny and the fear of lizards

**Prompt1 Vastra vs dead lizard**  
Notes: pre-canon

«Jenny? Jenny?» Jenny immediately understands that something is wrong. Vastra’s voice is strangely agitated, it never happens, and when it does it means something terrible must have happened. She quickly leaves her current job in the kitchen to run towards the greenhouse.  
«Look.» Says the reptile as soon as she appears at the door pointing towards a spot in between two big terracotta pots.  
The girl hesitantly walks towards it while the Silurian stays put near her favorite chair, observing the girl’s movements as she bends finally able to see what put her mistress in such distress.  
It’s just a common reptile that hasn’t moved an inch in spite of their presence and jenny immediately understands why Vastra got so agitated.  
«I’m sorry, ma‘am.» She tells her as she gathers the tiny lifeless body in her towel.  
The Silurian gets nearer once she can find her courage. Looking at the small lifeless reptile brought back a lot of painful memories and she couldn’t find it in herself to touch it. For a moment its green scales had looked just like her own.

«Come on.» Says Jenny as she softly takes her hand to bring her to the garden out back. Vastra is taken aback by this strange unexpected contact of their skin, so soft and delicate. She can hardly feel it when jenny lets her hand go to move closer to the flower patch, bending down to gently lay the small corpse in a freshly dig hole.

«We have to give it a proper burial.» She explains moving closer to let her see what she’s doing, and Vastra is thankful that jenny understood her feeling with no need to explain, with no need to make fun of her own insecurities.  
The earth covers the cotton covered lizard and jenny turns towards her with a bright smile on her face.  
«Now that spring is near you will see a lot of them in the garden.» She tells her pointing to the wall where two of them can be seen bathing in the sun. The Silurian observes full of curiosity. they’ve only recently moved to Paternoster Row and the gin palace where they had lived before did not have a patch of green they could call their own. In that dark, dank apartment all they might have found were cockroaches and spiders, she didn’t know there were creatures similar to her own on earth. Now that Jenny has shown them to her, her heart fills with warmth and her smile widens like a child’s on Christmas morning. Maybe the girl doesn’t even know how much her mistress, currently admiring the peacefully sun bathing creatures laying amongst green grass and flowers, truly appreciated that gesture. that picture had evoked in her memories of many centuries before, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and she, a young cub, would play fight with her sisters. As she breathes in deep the fresh spring air Jenny’s perfume reaches unexpectedly her nostrils and her heart beats a little faster. That smell, that presence can make her forget the earth used to be theirs before humans invaded because now, even though the girls doesn‘t yet know it, she has someone to fill her days and her heart with joy and a love she didn‘t think possible.

 

**Prompt2 Jenny vs Lizard**

A scream coming at her from the kitchen immediately puts all of Vastra’s senses in alert. her jenny is in danger and she needs to run down the first floor stairs to save her.  
They almost run into each other on the bottom of the stairs and Jenny curls up in her arms. she looks terrified and the Silurian can’t help but be surprised to see her in such a state. In all those years together they have fought all sorts of enemies and she doesn’t know what could possibly be so scary in their own kitchen to have her running away.  
The young girl still attached to her arm she walks surreptitiously in the kitchen while Jenny points at something under the end table with a trembling hand.  
«Under there.» She says while remaining on the doorstep but as soon as she sees the menacing creature dart from under the table she runs screaming on top of a chair. Vastra catches the small creature that has frightened her wife half to death.  
«A lizard?» Asks the Silurian, wondering if Jenny is somehow making fun of her.  
«Keep that thing away from me.» She orders, her arms shielding as if the small creature could jump her at any moment.  
«Dear, you can not be afraid of a lizard, just look at it, it’s… it’s a Lizard!» She says pointing to herself first and then to the small wriggling body in her hand.  
Vastra feels slightly offended that her wife should hate a creature so similar to herself.  
«Those things are unpredictable and they move so quick…» Explains Jenny, fully aware her fear is absolutely irrational, more so for a woman married to a very real lizard woman.  
She kisses her, she hugs her, she shares her bed, but the Silurian isn’t really a lizard and Jenny knows that very well. Her movements are different than those of that quick-paced unpredictable little creature that has invaded her kitchen.  
Meanwhile Vastra releases her mini-sister out into the open through the kitchen door. Jenny can now dare to put her feet back on the ground, an embarrassed smile on her face.


	2. Jenny's hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: Jenny's hair

Vastra walked into the bathroom after having seen Jenny take out the scissors from the kitchen cabinet. She didn’t mean to spy on the girl but she couldn’t for the life of her imagine what the girl could be doing in a bathroom with that kind of object.  
She saw the long black hair being set free of their bun and her curiosity grew even more. She saw Jenny stand in front of the mirror and take the sharp metal to her long black tresses.  
«NO!» She screamed upon entering the room, the young girl’s heart skipping a beat out of fright.  
«Ma’am you scared me. Why the sudden scream?» Asked the girl, heart still thumping in her chest.  
«What are you doing with those?» Asked Vastra taking away the sharp object.   
«I’m just cutting it a little.» Said Jenny trying to take the scissors back from the Silurian’s hand, unsuccessfully.  
«Why are you hurting yourself? Aren’t they fine the way they are?» Asked the reptile in a way that had the young human understand what was going on. She couldn’t withhold a roaring laugh. Vastra was slightly offended by the human’s laugh and she couldn’t understand why Jenny was behaving like that. She was only trying to protect her.  
«Silly old Lizard.» She said affectionately caressing her cheek. «Cutting hair isn’t painful. There are no nerve endings in them, you see. They’ll only grow even stronger and better for it.» She explained with a smile taking back the scissors and making Vastra blush because of her mistake. Humans had so many things that were different from those of her own kind she sometimes had trouble remembering them all.  
She sat down next to Jenny who, scissors in hand, had gotten back to work on her hair. She looked at the falling strands of cut hair lifeless on the ground while Jenny looked at her and her confusion with a loving curious smile on her face.  
«Do you want to try it?» Asked the girl, giving her the scissors only to get a curious unsure look from the Lizard woman who however took the instrument without objection.  
She took one of the many strands on hair in her fingers even though they were trying to escape her grasp.  
«Are you sure this won’t hurt you?» She asked again to be absolutely certain.  
«I’m sure.» She confirmed putting herself in the Silurian’s hands who closed the blades of the scissors with fright over the tips of Jenny’s hair.  
The sound came to her ears like a melody that had her trembling, the girl noticed and smiled at the look of glee the reptile had unconsciously put on her face. It was nice to feel Vastra’s hands in her hair, taking care of her. They were both enjoying that mundane moment that had become a bonding experience between them.  
The hand on her hair pulled the owner of the black tresses towards the mouth of the reptile and among all the kisses the haircut took longer than anticipated but neither of them cared about the time wasted with their lips brushing.  
It was so very nice, and the following time, Vastra thought, she’d ask Jenny to let her do it again.


	3. Sleeping beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr Prompt: Sleeping beauty

Vastra and the Doctor had been walking at a quick pace for about half an hour through that dreary place.  
An abandoned amusement park, left unguarded and ruled by a ruthless madman.  
He would kidnap young girls and make them the main attraction of his sick fantasies.  
They had already found and released a poor girl forced to dance in glass shoes, her feet bleeding. The poor thing, after being freed from her cage had collapsed unconscious at their feet. She was out of her mind for all those long days of torture.  
The nearest attraction they had found close by had been of a girl with clear signs of poisoning.

Strax had found the source in a basket of red apples that the poor thing had been forced to eat, and had stayed behind with the girl to administer the proper care.  
They walked side by side with caution, the madman had kidnapped Jenny and now held her god knows where in that hellish place.  
They entered into yet another attraction and found something even more shocking, not only young women had been kidnapped, but a school-age child stood there, hung by his hands and feet like a puppet on strings that had him move without his will while a wooden mask was set in place on his young face.

They immediately rescued the boy and directed him towards Strax and the already freed girls.  
But where could Jenny be? That spectral place gave shivers at every step, and they half expected the madman to jump out of one of those disused attractions with some kind of monster army, but everything was quiet, too quiet.  
The huge ferris wheel creaked ominously as the sky filled with threatening thunder.  
«I must find her Doctor. If something were to happen to her… » Vastra said, clenching her fists, feeling they were losing time, and that at that point anything could have happened to the girl.  
«We’ll find her, I promise.» Nodded the time lord, well aware of the Silurian’s growing impatience and concern.  
An angry Vastra was scary, but a worried Vastra was a thousand times more frightening.  
«Let’s go.» He cheered but did not have the courage to touch her for fear of setting off the bomb that lay under the warrior’s skin. Every time they opened a door, Vastra’s heart seemed to stop, and every time it hissed in frustration when Jenny could not be seen. She wondered where she could have been taken and what horrible fate had that insane criminal imposed on her.  
She was loosing patience at all the nonsense that crazy mad had left for them to find. A girl in an aquarium, two children in a house of sweets, a little girl locked in a cage with three bears ready to devour her. Every door seemed to lead to more and more distressing scenarios and this show had gone on for far too long. They ran at breakneck speed to save one life after another. When the Doctor had brought the Paternoster gang with him he could not have imagined that they would run into such a terrible adventure.  
«I must learn not to trust amusement parks anymore.» Snorted the Doctor at seeing a more and more distressed Vastra.  
When the TARDIS had landed there, the place had not looked larger than a normal amusement park, but it now seemed to them they had walked a greater area than Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens combined. That place seemed to grow with every step they took closer to the big castle overlooking the whole thing. It seemed even more threatening than all the other buildings they had visited so far. The windows had been broken and moss and weeds grew everywhere. The walls were covered with intricate tangles of branches that covered even the front door.  
Regardless of the thorns, her hands began to tear away the branches that would not allow her to enter the abandoned castle.  
When she finally succeeded in entering the place it was silent and spooky. There was no one in sight. With sore hands and a pounding heart, the Silurian ran up the stairs.  
They sped through the deserted corridors, higher and higher still, up to the tower. The Doctor struggled to keep up with her as they walked up hundreds of steps that seemed to be neverending.  
«Doctor!» A scream from the tops of the tower made him increase his pace, until he got, exhausted, to see what had upset his friend Vastra so greatly.  
Lying on a huge four-poster bed that was covered with pillows and satin sheets rested a seemingly peacefull Jenny.  
The face relaxed in sleep while Vastra fretted at her side to make sure she was still breathing.  
«I do not know what to do.» She admitted as she felt the man’s presence next to her.  
«Well it’s quite simple, I would say.» Marveled the Doctor. It couldn’t be that Vastra did not know what was next at this point in the story, could it.  
«I do not understand. Did she faint? Is she ill? She doesn’t seem to be hurt..» Asked the undeterred reptile woman, feeling her beloved heartbeat.  
«Jenny doesn’t read you fairy tales?» Asked the time lord, trying not to sound too amused not to irritate Vastra.  
«Sorry, Doctor, but what does that have to do with anything?»  
«Fairy tales. Fables of the human world for children. It seems to me that we have a pretty obvious one.» Urged the man hoping a light bulb would go off in Vastra’s head, but she only looked at him as if he had suddenly gone mad.  
The time lord snorted, he had never been good with all these romantic things and now, blushing as red a beet, he decided to speak frankly.  
«The kiss of true love.» He said pointing with both arms at the girl still peacefully asleep in the bed in front of them.  
Vastra kept looking from Jenny to the Doctor, thinking she must be in an absurd dream from which she would wake up soon, and definitely a dream Jenny would laugh about all morning, teasing her, as soon as she was done explaining it to her.  
The woman sighed, resigned, her friend always seemed so hopeful and she couldn’t really damage anything by trying, so she leaned toward the girl’s face to press a light kiss on the rosy, and to her relief warm, lips.  
When the broke apart it did not seem to be any change and she was about to make some sarcastic joke to the Doctor when a slight groan rose from the bed.  
«Vastra?» The girl’s thick voice made the reptile’s heart jump, and in a moment she took the girl in her arms.  
«Oh, you’re fine, thank the goddesses.» She sighed kissing her head.  
«I don’t remember what happened.» Jenny admitted trying to remember why she was lying in a bed in a room that she did not recognize.  
She remembered walking out of the TARDIS along with all the others, seeing a terrifying amusement park apparently abandoned, hearing screams, and remembered running until she felt a strong hit on her back and had everything go white before her.  
«Thank you for saving me.» Whispered Jenny, clutching the arms of her beloved when she could finally stand.  
«That’s what makes true love.» Vastra winked at her smiling, squeezing her even more closely and bending down ready to seal their promise of true love once more.  
«Hem..» Came a muffled cough from behind them «Much as I hate to interrupt, we still have a mad man to catch, ladies.»  
The women broke apart quickly, jumping at the Doctor’s voice, as if they had forgotten his presence in light of the joy of their reunion.  
«Ready we are.» Smirked a still nightgown dressed Jenny, suddenly invigorated and brandishing a wooden cudgel broken from one of the many branches that enveloped the eary room. A blushing Doctor and an even more deeply embarassed reptilian woman following her up close behind.


	4. Little Pains

Jenny came to the door to see what was happening. She kept hearing a scraping noises and loud moans coming from the room upstairs.  
«Are you all right?» She asked but received no answer. Jenny had already figured out what was happening.  
A small little green head, covered with scales and still underdeveloped ridges, looked at her with deep, dark eyes.  
Small red spots of blood stained the otherwise white dress of Aria.  
«Honey, how many times must I tell you to call me before you reduce yourself this way?» She asked, hurrying towards her child. It had now happened several times in the past seven years since the child was born. By now the girl knew that the moulting would bother her, but she still persisted in not wanting anyone’s help. In this she was very like her mother Vastra, Jenny thought. She always kept ready some chamomile lotion to help her two girls in those most delicate times.  
She removed her little one’s white linen dress and began to give her some relief with the cool soothing liquid as she held her on her lap, rocking lazily on the rocking chair.  
Vastra had noticed a fuss on the top floor and had rushed to see if they needed help, while their second child followed her closely behind. The child, unlike his older sister had no moulting pains to suffer, his skin was like that of his mother Jenny, and he always took a lot of fun in his older sister’s discomfort.  
«Do not tease your sister, John, otherwise when you will have acne and you will be covered in hairs it will be us teasing you.» Scolded Vastra, understand how the girl might feel at that moment.  
«Until you’re fully grown you will need to go through this process at least three times a year. Then when you will have finally grown up it will only happen once a year.» Vastra explained her eldest daughter, whom was letting her mother soothe at the little cuts she had procured herself by scratching at the dried scales.  
«I know mother.» Said the little girl. «I just wish I was like mummy.» Aria said, more sullen than ever.  
«Us mammals have our problems as well. Don’t think that only Silurians have trouble. Believe me sweetie, I know it’s annoying, but I’m glad you’re so much like your mother.» Jenny said dropping a kiss on the girl’s head, making a smile spread on her daughter’s face again.  
A small moan came from John who he wanted his share of his mothers attention.  
«Oh come here you, little monkey.» Vastra teased, lifting him up in her arms, the child hiding his pout in her neck.


	5. That perfect moment

Vastra wonders when she began to fall in love with Jenny. It must have been a long time ago. Gradually she stopped seeing her as the weak fragile-pink-skinned human with too much hair and funny eyebrows. When did she stop seeing Jenny Flint just as a disgusting monkey to look at her as the woman she loves more than anything else in the world?

Vastra recalls their first meeting, or at least part of it. Jenny thinks Vastra saw her for the first time that night when she saved her, but there’s a memory that Vastra holds in the deepest recesses of her heart with greed, for fear that it might escape from her mind; the first time she saw Jenny she was still so angry with the human race that she could have killed her.  
She was with the doctor that day, and Jenny was just one of the many apes crowding the road, she was little more than a girl trying to make some money by selling matches. She had seen her in the crowd and did not know why the her attention had been captured on her out of everyone. Vastra had been walking with the doctor under her heavy cloak that made her look like everyone else. She was telling him about joining the local Freak Show and he hadn’t been happy about the idea. But she had not found a place in the society, she knew they would have hunted her down and killed her if they had known of her true nature. She felt more at ease with those society deemed as bizarre, unnatural.  
She had become part of that world even though she didn’t tolerate those stinking apes.  
There was always a reason for the appearance of the Doctor and Vastra did not have to wait long to find out that their mission that day was to convince an alien, with an impossible name, to leave Earth and go back to his planet. It did not seem a trivial matter since he had taken possession of a track of the city’s sewers and did not seem willing to leave his new hideout.

Vastra remembered that there had been a fight. She had resurfaced so enraged she would have killed everyone around if the Doctor had not helped them escape. And she had seen her again, the girl with matches: she had not seem scared, she had helped the Doctor to reassure the people around and then had disappeared with the human flood.  
And then, suddenly, one night, she had found her again. The look, the smell of fear mixed with determination, she would never be able to forget. She had rushed down the narrow street and had saved just in time. Vastra recalls how her body than had not affected her in the least, she remembers the torn cloth revealing her thighs and her chest, “pink and disgusting” she had thought seeing her passed out in that dirty and degraded corner of the city. She had taken her home. This girl had fallen on her path twice and she was sure there was a reason.

But it’s a long time after that that Vastra realizes her pink skin doesn’t make her sick anymore, that her thighs and her breasts make her breath break in her throat and her guts twist pleasantly.  
One summer afternoon Jenny is hit by a strong storm and comes home soaking wet; the flimsy dress stuck to her flesh makes Vastra unable to stop devouring her body with her eyes involuntarily and tasting the air around her with her tongue. From that day on training in the basement becomes more and more difficult because Vastra cannot stop thinking about Jenny and how much she wants to land her on the floor and feel for herself the pink skin that warms her dreams. But she keep herself in check and every time she curses herself for being so horribly weak. What would her sisters say of her in her? They would be disgusted by that frail and weak girl. But Vastra knows that Jenny is neither weak nor frail, she just has to look in the her deep brown eyes to read strength and determination from that little thing that lies before her

Vastra wonders when she started to look so closely at Jenny’s smile. She had never noticed before how red and inviting her lips are, her brain telling her that she should stop wasting all that time talking and should just pin her to the wall and never leave those soft inviting lips alone again.

Vastra wonders when she started to feel an unspeakable desire for the little woman beside her every day and that every day becomes more and more beautiful.  
She stifles her moans in the pillow at night so as not to be heard while touching herself and imagining that instead of her hand there is Jenny making her come. And when finally her fantasy is completed she curses and get angry with herself for having even thought Jenny wanted something as disgusting as her. She was crazy if she even thought Jenny was the least bit interested in an old grumpy green lizard as herself.

Vastra reminds the hope of an autumn day when, walking down the street, they came across two women walking arm in arm. Once home Vastra asked why one of them was dressed as a man and Jenny had explained to her, Toms she had called them, and then she had added that found nothing wrong in that. And Vastra’s heart had begun to swell with hope. She had explained herself that in her society it was considered a normal and natural thing and only the idiotic apes would condemn such a natural act. It had then seemed to Vastra that Jenny had started seeing her with different eyes.

Vastra still wonders how her feelings of hatred can be completely extinct, and have indeed turned into a love so complete and overwhelming. The girl manages to undo her will and she is disgusted with herself for this at times. One day Jenny falls ill and Vastra doesn’t know what to do and is hit by a pain so strong she thinks she’ll die. No longer able to imagine herself without the girl at her side, she curses herself every hour of that horrible day of agony because she never told her she loved her but then Jenny heals and she looses all her courage.  
Vastra wonders what will happen if she tells Jenny she loves her. She is afraid of loneliness now, afraid of rejection but most of all afraid that Jenny will hate her if she only dares explain her feelings, but what Vastra does not know is that Jenny feels exactly the same way.

Vastra wonders how they ended up kissing in a dirty and dangerous corner on the city.  
«I hate you! You don’t understand anything!» Had told her Jenny and her eyes had been flooded with tears. Vastra had been dying inside, she had been so insensitive that night, but her foolish pride would not allow her to apologize. And then Jenny had kissed her and all the rest could have gone to hell. The thieves, the mission, Scotland Yard. She was kissing her beloved human, and nothing and no one could stop them.  
«You’re stupid.» Had said Jenny with a smile when they had been forced to separate due to lack of oxygen.  
«Yes, I am.» Had agreed Vastra only to drag her back against a dirty wall, to kiss her again and again.

«What are you thinking of?» Asks Jenny intertwining their fingers. They have just made love, their first time has been just as Vastra had always dreamed of and now her beloved is completely abandoned in her arms; her soft pink flesh, the hair scattered everywhere on her own green skin make her even more sexy to Vastra’s eyes.  
The Silurian moves closer and lays a soft kiss on the tip of the nose.  
There is a sense of joy in her stomach that Vastra is not sure she’s ever felt before, and she wonders if Jenny is happy as well, if she did not hurt her, if it had been just as she had imagined too, if she does not regret that she has given herself completely.  
«You think too much.» Jenny straddles her hips, not having gotten an answer to her previous question. Vastra starts to stroke her hips, following the curves of her body that she had learned to love completely that night.  
Vastra feels desire flood her again and her eyes wander between the girl’s legs.  
«Oh, I see.» Says Jenny, following the older woman’s gaze with a mischievous look and they start pleasuring each other again.

Vastra wonders if it is really important to know when everything started and thinks she fell in love with her the first time she saw her on the sidewalk with her matches, she had loved her and had sought her desperately until every crumb of her soul was filled with her sweet and comforting presence. And at night when they fall asleep exhausted in one another’s arms she can only close her eyes and hope the world would stop in that perfect moment of her life.


	6. Just one word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vastra needs to ask Jenny for a meaning.

The warm air coming from the heater and the scalding hot cup of tea in her hands were a relief for Jenny who, after all those months, still couldn’t believe she was living in that warm house with a lizard woman as an employer. She was stranger and more unexpected than any of the employer she could have dreamed up for herself, but Madame wasn’t one to leave her wanting for anything. The meals were plenty and there was heating, something Jenny had never experienced before. There was also a stash of the finest tea England had to offer, at the ready in the pantry.  
Only fourteen and she was already luckier than she could have expected given her situation. She had been lucky not to have found herself employed by a sleazy old man in one of those pleasure houses one could find around town.  
She had been lucky to have found Madame, even though the circumstance of that first encounter had seemed, at first, anything but lucky.

Jenny swallowed another mouthful of hot elixir looking at Vastra out of the corner of her eye as she moved frantically from one end to the other of the small apartment they shared over that noisy and ill-frequented gin palace. She had been leafing through books all day, while Jenny herself had tried to read with some difficulty one single book. Vastra had been so adamant she receive some form of education, so Jenny was trying not to disappoint her employer even though she had barely been thought to read as a small child. The fear of being eaten alive by her master in case of disappointment was definitely enough of a motivator.  
«Jenny?» Suddenly Vastra’s voice made her jump on the chair she was sitting on.  
«Yes, Madame?» she asked standing up immediately at her employer’s command.  
«I’ve looked for it in every book or vocabulary I own and I can’t find anything that will explain to me the meaning of a certain phrase.» the lizard woman looked contrite and frustrated.  
«I’ve heard this word spoken often on the streets at night and maybe you know what it means.» Vastra looked pretty hopeful to have her enigma answered. Maybe the young human cub she had rescued on the streets could help clear her confusion.  
«And what’s the word, Madame?» asked Jenny surprised there was something Vastra didn’t know.  
«Fuck me.» confessed the Silurian whispering unconsciously, as if realizing it might not mean a nice thing.  
Jenny blushed furiously, the softly whispered warm tones of the Lizard woman made her tea go down the wrong way and she started spluttering it and couching embarrassedly as Vastra could only thank her Silurian reflexes for having made her jump back if she didn’t now have tea all over her gown.  
«Madame!» Jenny almost shout out of her embarrassment.  
«Is there something wrong? Are you well?» She asked, confused by the girl’s behaviour but still curious about the answer to her question.  
«Madame, I can’t answer your question. I’m sorry.» she tried to stop her.  
«I will ask someone else than.» shrugged the Silurian, moving her body in a way Jenny had still to get used to and that made her tremble with some ancestral fear. The girl couldn’t let her employer run around asking embarrassing questions. She grabbed her at the last second before the woman could walk out the door.  
«All right, all right, you won.» she said with a big sigh, blushing once again but seeing a big smile spread across the face of the other woman.  
«When… two people, are… intimate…» Jenny was finding it hard to express the concept without crossing the lines a lady should never cross.  
«During a coupling? As a mating ritual?» asked Vastra so candidly the girl blushed once again.  
«Yes, you could say that. When someone finds pleasure in that certain activity, sometimes they say that to start the…mating ritual.» she said in one breath before her bravery could vanish. A moment of embarrassed silence fell upon them and then Vastra resumed her reading without saying a word to her maid again. Jenny on her part was more than happy for the lack of embarrassing questions.

It’s only after some years that Vastra can fully comprehend what Jenny had tried to explain with such careful words.  
In a night made particularly warm with covers and duvets and naked bodies intimately intertwined, finally Vastra feels it. A warmth spreading through her abdomen, a desire to have those hands, that are now caressing her so lovingly, touch her where no one has for millions of years. And it’s than that her lips part and those words that had meant nothing to her a few years back now flow from her mouth on a stuttering breath. And the girl that had looked so embarrassed then now winks at her and grants the wish of the woman she loves.


	7. My words are not enough

The Christmas tree entirely decorated of colourful bows soared quietly in a corner of the living room of number 13, Paternoster Row. Two figures were resting quietly on the sofa enjoying the warmth that the fire offered them. Sleepy kisses were exchanged incessantly that December 24th night while Jenny clung to the surprisingly warm body that held her.  
When Jenny was a little girl she never would have expected that the fairy tales her mother told her the night before bed were true, or at least that they would be for her. Small and dirty suburbs girl, grown too fast among too many sisters and brothers, without education, without hope of leaving that dirty and infamous neighbourhood. And then she had come across Vastra and she never would have thought that her "Prince Charming", who had saved her from the bad guys, as she had so often heard about in fairy tales, was the woman who now held her with so much love and devotion between her arms.  
Since Jenny took her courage with both hands and kissed her employer, finding that her feelings were reciprocated, they had become unable to separate. It had been weeks since that first kiss, and since then neither one was able to live without feeling the others on her lips.  
There was that unspoken feeling that Jenny wanted to express out loud, she knew how she felt about Vastra, had known from the first moment she realized it was not just friendship or respect what was between them. She had to gather all her courage to kiss her the first time, even if she thought her heart would not stand the tension of the moment, but immediately after she had learned that it was worth it.  
They had shared a bed for the first time, and not for a need for heat. It was a night that both had long dreamed of and Vastra had proved to be a sweet lover careful with the soft body and Jenny's so easily scratched skin.  
Vastra 's hand slid under her clothes bringing the girl back to the present. Jenny could never have enough of the older woman's caresses, she knew how to make her lose her head in mere seconds.  
A soft hiss against her hear made Jenny shiver.  
«What does that mean?» Asked the girl who had now learned to categorize most of her mistress's hisses, but she was sure that she had never heard that one before. She shivered unconsciously, there was something in that sound, as if it were an important word, as if she knew she had to listen carefully. Her senses, though human, told her that Vastra had never used it before, with the hard way her tongue was rolling in her mouth.  
«It's a promise. A word that you choose to tell only one person in the course of the life of a Silurian. In your language there is no word like it so I decided to say it in the only language it exists in.» Vastra explained, clutching a little nearer the body of her companion.  
«Try to say it anyway.» prayed Jenny feeling her heart beat a bit faster.  
«If I were to say it in English it would undermine it and a simple "I love you" would not be enough to describe the feelings I have for you.» Vastra explained with such a natural flare in expressing her love that it struck the human.   
Normally Madame was very reserved and reluctant to show her state of mind, but with her she had stripped herself bare, had opened her heart with ease and simplicity.  
«Then teach me how to say it, because I think that "I love you" would undermine even my feelings for you.» Jenny confessed making her companion smile. Vastra was happy to repeat the word a million times that night, and as hard as Jenny tried, her human tongue could not hiss so perfectly as Madame Vastra's did, but the Silurian was equally happy to feel the lips of the woman she loved pronounce that promise to just her for all eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!


	8. Questo tè sa di te

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous Prompt: Jenny and Vastra having a Japanese tea ceremony.

Jenny had never travelled before in countries as distant and different from her own. Japan is fascinating and so different from London that everything leaves her speechless. Vastra is happy to see her young assistant so happy and excited for this new adventure and she will let them do everything the young girl might want. They are guests of an ancient and royal family, the man of the house, Akihito-sama is a proud samurai, never willing to bow before the enemy despite his now several white hair. His wife, Kyoko-san, a small woman almost invisible, with only her nods and gestures to be understood. Both occupants of the house are kind and at their disposal for anything. Jenny feels useless for Madame, she is not carrying out her daily duties but Vastra assures her that she is there only as her assistant and not as her maid.  
When that evening, Jenny enters the room with a light kimono adorned with small petals of cherry blossoms, Vastra is left breathless. The girl is beautiful and the Silurian would want to be able to embrace and touch the body of her young friend. For months now she has known clearly how much she desires her. If she had just been a young human like her she would have only had to ask her parents for her hand and then she would be able to love her completely as she has dreamt for months now, but she is not what she imagines to be pleasing to the eye and to the tastes of Jenny, although the girl proved to be more than extraordinary for the place and the time she comes from. She knows that her preferences in company are not like those of her peers, that had been clear since the early days of their acquaintance, but that was not the point. She was covered with scales and almost as old as the earth itself, surly and unpleasant at times, and in the early times of their cohabitation not so kind with the terms in which she described the apes. How could she think a young human girl would be interested in her?  
«The lady gave me this. I think the colour fits perfectly with your beautiful scales.» She says the girl handing her a beautiful purple kimono.  
«Kyoko-san asked for us to join her in the first floor room, says she is waiting for us for the tea ceremony.» She explains, starting to help her mistress out of her combat uniform. After several tries and attempts they give up and have to call on the hostess for help.  
They get downstairs and it is immediately clear to them that tea will not be served as it is in London, here everything is different. First thing is the bow, in these days they have really had to do many, to enter the low door leading to the sparsely furnished room. Carefully the woman puts the necessary things on the mat, every move dictated by the ritual. The cloth with which every object is cleaned up, the precise layout of the individual elements. Water bubbles, gurgling from a big dark kettle, a long wooden spoon collects water and brings it to the bowl and Kyoko-sama begins, slowly, to turn the bamboo whisk in the bowl. She adds the green substance that Vastra recognizes as being tea. Its smell and texture, however, are different from the way it is in London, and again the two warriors, in strict silence, watch the mixing of the tea.  
Vastra respects the traditions of these ancient and far away people. She almost feels like she has gone back in time, to when military discipline was her life. This ritual too is made of discipline and precision in every gesture, as a samurai’s battle.  
After a good whisk the silent woman gives Jenny the bowl that she brings to her lips, not really knowing what is the right thing to do. Her pink lips rest on the cup and Vastra watches as her breathing accelerates unknowingly. The wide kimono sleeves move independently of her will, baring her forearms. That sight would make any Victorian girl, accustomed to covering almost their entire body blush. Vastra falls in love with every inch her eyes can reach. It is a rarity for Jenny to let her see her neck, now uncovered, and the Silurian can not help but follow the perfect line going from the back of her to the first vertebra of her spine.  
Jenny turns to Vastra, handing her the small white bowl and when the reptile woman brings it to her face at the same point where Jenny’s mouth had been before, the smell of the girl reaches her like a slap. It leaves her stunned and, even though she knows she is in public, she can not refrain from collecting the little saliva with her tongue, immediately trying to act normal, and puts her lips where just moments before had been those of the girl. The tea tastes like Jenny, where her hands have held the small bowl and where her mouth has settled. Every inch of that small object brings upon her the girl’s presence, and for Vastra’s highly developed senses it is deafening. Her heart pounding in her chest, she’s lucky no one in the room knows that her scales are now so emerald in colour and so bright because of the heat and excitement she is now feeling. Her eyes narrow as she imagines of kissing the girl she loves. Who knows, Vastra thinks, how will Jenny’s lips feel the day she’ll be able to gather the necessary courage to really kiss her.  
A warm hand rests on her thigh and Vastra comes very near to spilling the tea all over her kimono.  
«Is everything all right ma’am?» Asks Jenny quietly seeing the older woman in distress.  
«Everything is fine, dear.» She lies with a smile, but Jenny is satisfied and goes back to observe Kyoko-san.  
The feeling of the warmth of Jenny’s hand lingers on her leg, its scales seemingly wanting to retain that heat within them, while the owner of the leg moves uneasily in her forced position that has her feet and legs aching. A warmth and moist feeling makes its way between her legs. Vastra finds herself for the second time during those interminable minutes blushing. She can not run outside in the open air to vent her frustration and the smell and warmth of Jenny continue to reach her as tidal waves making her feel unworthy of being in a place so sacred for its occupants. She forces herself to breathe in a calm and controlled manner, taking large breaths and looking away from all that pink skin that she can catch a glimpse of in the openings offered by the kimono.  
She gives the cup back to the owner of the house who wordlessly thanks her with a bow and Vastra does the same.  
Then when everything is done, every item is cleaned according to tradition, and so also Vastra’s heart is brought back to being quiet.


	9. Morning Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny’s morning shift is worth it even just to see that special customer walk in.   
> Modern Era - Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Jenny enjoyed working at Starbucks, her colleagues were nice and even if the clientele stressed her out at times, there was still something that made waking up early in the morning and riding her old bike across town, whether it was raining or snowing, worth. That one customer she hoped to see walking through that door every single day. Always on time, she came in at seven in the morning with a newspaper tucked under her arm and wearing sunglasses even during the winter, all covered up in several layers of clothing in order to fight the cold that would otherwise freeze her reptile skin and body.  
Jenny couldn’t exactly say how old that woman was, nor did she care, but perhaps her magnetic fascination was due to god knows what secrets she might be hiding inside her. She had no idea what the Silurian did for a living but she always looked busy, like she had just signed out of a job that could never be left behind in an office at the end of a shift, always tired and never in a hurry to leave. She took a seat at the same old table near the counter, she removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes, yawning. It was a routine by now, both of them knew exactly what the other would do.  
She had a reserved yet cordial manner that charmed the young human immensely. Every morning she ordered her coffee but she never left a name, she was also the only customer who showed up at that time so Jenny started writing a word or a small sentence on her cup. More often than not she just wished her a nice day. After a few weeks the mysterious woman left her, along with a small tip for the coffee, also the empty cup on which surface Jenny saw a similar greeting written just for her. From that moment on she always found an answer to her greeting; sometimes it was just a quick word, others a smiley face or a wink. One day Jenny realised that she was tired of not knowing her mysterious interlocutor’s name so she decided that it was time to stop writing a plain and simple good morning.  
"I’m Jenny, nice to meet you." She wrote on her hot coffee cup and after a series of apparently endless minutes, the cup, now devoid of content, came right back into the girl’s hands. Her heart started beating rapidly inside her chest while she impressed that name on her mind.  
"I’m Vastra." She read and re-read it as if she wanted to ensure that she was pronouncing it properly. She enjoyed the way her tongue twirled every time she did it and the smile that lit up her face didn’t fade from her lips for the rest of the day.  
The next day Vastra came in like every other morning.  
«Good morning Jenny.» She said, surprising the girl who almost scalded herself with the coffee she was making. The woman sat directly at the counter instead of taking a seat at her usual table. Jenny felt extremely nervous without an apparent reason, she just didn’t want Vastra to look at her so closely while she was cleaning the coffee machine or performing her humble tasks. They didn’t say a word to each other that morning, yet Jenny could feel the woman’s stare on her the whole time and her cheeks couldn’t help but blush under her persistent gaze. Vastra’s eyes were so blue and intense that it seemed like they were able to read her soul.  
After a while Vastra got up and, wishing her a nice day, disappeared behind the glass door. Jenny couldn’t help but feeling stupid for wasting such a good occasion. The shop had been deserted during their whole silent meeting and perhaps she could have at least found out something personal about the Silurian. Instead the embarrassment had stopped her and she couldn’t do anything at all.  
The next morning Vastra sat at her table, the day before she had hoped to talk to the girl but she had probably scared her with the unexpected closeness, so she decided to go back to her old habits. She didn’t even had to take off the ridiculous amount of layers that covered her body, her coffee was already waiting for her at her table while a red-faced Jenny was trying to get away in a hurry. Vastra calmly took a seat, she removed her sunglasses and she rubbed her eyes. She could feel the girl staring at her back from behind the counter. She smiled knowing that Jenny was anxiously waiting for her to read the message written on her cup.  
Vastra grabbed the container with both hands in order to warm them thanks to the heat emanated by the coffee on the inside, she took a deep breath and then she opened up her fingers so that she could read her message. The white surface of the cup was staring at her, almost as if it wanted to mock her. Had she really frightened her that much?  
She drank her coffee, which never tasted as bitter as it did that morning, and without even raising her gaze towards the counter she made a move to grasp a napkin brought along with her sad cup void of messages by the young waitress.  
Right there, in a nervous shaky handwriting, she found the sentence she longed for.  
"Yesterday I was a fool. I’d like to get to know you. Would you go on a date with me?"  
Vastra calmly stared at it for a long time while Jenny was anxiously waiting for her answer. She was shifting her weight from a foot to the other, unable to stay still, while her heart was pounding in her ribcage and her mind kept thinking how stupid that approach had been. She straightened her little hat and smoothed down the wrinkles on her apron at least ten times, as if that uniform could do anyone who wore it justice and she held her breath when she finally saw Vastra getting up and laying her cup right in front of her. Jenny picked it up with shaky hands while the Silurian smiled at her from across the counter.  
"Yes." Jenny read quietly to herself while her cheeks were reddening like a ripe beetroot, then she finally raised her glance and she met Vastra’s eyes.  
«At what time does your shift end?» The older woman asked, wearing a big smile.  
«2pm.» Jenny squeaked with a high-pitched voice, different from her usual tone.  
«Then I will be outside waiting for you at two o’clock.» Vastra promised before taking her newspaper, putting her sunglasses on and pushing the door open, going out in the fresh air while Jenny remained still behind the counter with the cup in her hands and an idiotic smile permanently parked on her face.

Many years later, resting on a shelf in New-Paternoster Row, an old cup and a napkin from Starbucks were showing beautifully, preserved as if they were a precious relic of inestimable value; on the sofa below, the two women were wrapped up together in a warm blanket, exchanging sleepy kisses and laughing while remembering the story of how, many years before, they went on their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translated by i-stretch-my-arms-into-the-sky


	10. Protein(Villain) shakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Now all I can picture is Vastra wanting to go on a diet or something of the sort so she has Jenny make her Protein(Villain) shakes.

«Dear, do we still have some of that drug-dealer we caught the other night down at the docks?» Asks Vastra staring intently at the papers given to her by her doctor less than a week before.  
It seemed madness. A diet? For her? She was almost certain she had not put on weight, but everyone knows once you get married your body tends to give up the fight and go downhill from there.  
«I can ask Strax to check the freezer. I'm pretty sure we still have half an Asian and part of the beastly man who'd asked us for a threesome.» Replied Jenny caressing her wife's belly and chuckling at the slight curve she could feel under her fingers.  
«The beastly one it is.» Scoffs the Silurian, remembering the disgusting ape of a man who had pushed it too far with her wife and that, part because of that, was now resting at the bottom of her freezer.  
Jenny gets immediately down to business as soon as a hind part of a frozen man gets unceremoniously thrown on the kitchen counter by Strax, and she sends a silent thank you to the Doctor and Clara for the magical food processor machine they gave them as a wedding present and that has never been more useful than it is now her wife is on a smoothie diet.


	11. Eggs and Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part of the “green tea & baby” saga or: How could Vastra and Jenny become mothers? This is another hypothetical scenario. Enjoy!

The blue box materialized in the middle of the living room, Madame Vastra and Jenny Flint were not impressed by the bravado of the Doctor who loved to show everybody how accurately he could park his spaceship.  
But no one came out of the door this time. Vastra and Jenny stood up slowly from the couch - their old friend would have by now opened the doors wide and made some tiny scream and sound of jubilation throughout their home. They had to admit that this more reflective and quiet version of the Doctor had its merits, even though deep down that playful and child side was missing from the halls of Paternoster row.  
They sighed. What had managed to stay the same was that every single time the Doctor was able to interrupt them during a cuddling and flirting session that, given the nature of their work, wasn’t easy to find the time for.  
«Doctor?» Asked the Silurian, entering the TARDIS.  
«Shush.» She was silenced by the man who stood facing the other way.  
The two women looked each other in the eye surprised at him only to realize that their friend was studying something intently.  
Jenny walked closer, curious to find out what the Doctor had in store for them.  
«Just the people I needed!» He exclaimed, almost surprised at seeing them there, only to stare at them with a cautious look.  
«When did you get here?» Asked the man, stepping back a couple of steps.  
«Your TADIS decided to land directly in our living room.» Vastra informed him while he fixed the ladies with a piercing stare.  
«What is it exactly?» Asked him at last the human girl, dragging everyone’s attention back on the mystery object the Doctor had brought.  
«It’s a Silurian egg!» Vastra’s eyes widened in disbelief at facing such a specimen.  
The Time Lord led Vastra to one of his many screens, full of numbers and graphs that Jenny could not understand.  
«I thought I’d keep it under monitoring, but I would like your opinion on it.» Explained the Doctor turning to his old friend.  
«Where did you find it?» Asked Vastra, incredulous.  
«Smuggled into the twenty-second century. Let’s just say the person from whom I “borrowed” it will not be very happy right now.» Admitted the man with a pointed look.  
«You think it might be alive inside the egg?» Asked the Silurian, peering curiously at the screen.  
«I wanted your opinion on that. I’d apply sensors to the egg, but I have no idea how thick a Silurian egg-shell is. I would really not want to cause irreversible damage to it and risk killing such a precious life.» He explained while Madame Vastra nodded.  
«The outer shell is intact?» She asked.  
«Apparently.» The Time Lord reassured her.  
«Then you need not fear. Our egg-shells are thicker than those of most of today’s reptiles. Not as thick as birds, but strong enough.» Assured the woman.  
«I do not think you will need it.» Jenny said, suddenly appearing in their line of view.  
«It’s out.» She informed them biting nervously her lower lip while both Vastra and the Doctor’s eyes got as big as saucers at the news.  
The human girl stepped aside to allow the other two to see with their own eyes the tiny emerald green life covered in shiny scales, trying with all its might to stand straight on its short legs.  
«Jenny…» Started Vastra, hesitantly approaching her wife who swallowed noisily, frightened by Vastra’s serious tone.  
«You were the first adult it saw.» Madame informed her.  
«Y … yes.» Said the girl, hesitantly.  
«You have many responsibilities now. Once they hatch, Silurians undergo a slight imprinting that will keep them loyal to their clan throughout their lives. So now…» Vastra swallowed a few times, realizing what this would entail. Her mouth was terribly dry and she felt that her tongue was struggling to form the words.  
Jenny waited in silence for her wife to finish the sentence, terrified it wouldn’t lead to anything good.  
«You’ll be its family.» Finished Vastra watching the little creature who tended its little arms towards Jenny. The girl, driven by an innate maternal instinct, welcomed the newly Silurian in her arms, wrapping it with the blanket that had been previously keeping the egg warm.  
«It seems it has chosen its mom.» Commented the Doctor, while Vastra fainted to the ground at the news.  
She hadn’t had months to prepare herself, to get used to the idea of becoming a mother, let alone of a small Silurian.  
Jenny screamed at the sight of her wife falling to the ground, while the Doctor leaned quickly toward Madame slapping her pale green cheeks to revive her.  
When the woman reptile had sufficiently recovered, to once again be able to walk on her legs, the two women were ready to leave the blue box while the time lord wished them good luck.  
They emerged with the warm bundle in Jenny’s arms, peacefully asleep, safe with its new family. Both of them secretly wondered whether this new version of the Doctor might just have played them, knowing full well what would happen.  
The TARDIS dematerialized behind them as Strax made his appearance in the living room, noting both the confused look on both women and the bundle in the boy’s arms.  
«Did I miss something?» He asked. It was a real miracle Vastra didn’t faint again.


	12. Of documentaries, carrots and earplugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vastra and Jenny get left behind in the 21st Century by the Doctor. Cue the pair crashing Clara’s apartment. Inflation and wild life documentaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long time ago I read this prompt from Pirateboots and it got stuck in my brain. I simply had to write it!

How she’s ended up in this disastrous situation Clara isn’t really sure. She’s just come back from going grocery shopping only to find a lizard woman dressed in a giant green hooded sweatshirt, sitting hypnotized in front of her tv-set, slowly melding into her sofa.  
«Madame Vastra?» Asks Clara, seeing no movement from the woman.  
«Please be silent, Miss Clara. This television of yours is a technological knickknack that surely can not miss from our household.» Exclaims the Silurian excited, clutching the remote in one of her large hands, as if some invisible foe could jump out of thin air to steal it away from her.  
Clara takes a peek to verify that, yes, Vastra has stumbled upon the Discovery Channel. Her pupils are wide, her mouth open in surprise, the pop-corn bowl planted firmly on her crossed legs, her hand in the bowl, lifeless and forgotten in favour of having all her attention pointed to the documentary on reptiles on the screen. «Absolutely astounding!»  
Jenny joins her spouse on the sofa while Clara moves to the kitchen to put the groceries away.

About those groceries. It had been the most stressful and difficult hour of the girl’s life. Walking through the Doctor’s 11 lives? Easy as pie when compared to a Victorian woman who, enraged by the living cost of modern life, demands to speak to the manager. She had seemed so happy upon first seeing such a big indoor market, such had been her name for it initially. And then something had snapped, cracked inevitably to the point of no return. After the first infatuation passed, Jenny ended up loathing that place.  
«To shame! With so many starving on the streets!» She had exclaimed seeing the price of fennels, her shock set so deep Clara thought her eyes would pop out of her head.  
«Jenny calm down, inflation has skyrocketed lately, you can’t expect prices to be the same as they were over a hundred years ago.» She had tried to reason without much luck.  
«There must be someone we can talk to.» Jenny had stated after having scrutinized the prices for a while longer, walking off to find the thug responsible for this robbery.  
«You, boy!» She had thundered, walking up to a young bagboy, wielding a carrot as a cudgel while Clara ran after her, afraid of being thrown out of her favourite grocery store, silently thanking her lucky stars Jenny wasn’t wearing her katana.  
«Yes, Miss?» Had asked the confused pimply boy.  
«Mrs, if you please. I am a married woman. Furthermore, would you care to explain the prices on this food? A hundred years ago these carrots would have cost a tenth of what you’re trying to extort for them.»  
Clara had finally managed to reach her and had grabbed her by the shoulder to hold her back while the young boy was pleading with her to save her from this wildly shouting lunatic.  
«She’s been away from England for a long time, a really long time. Almost feels like a hundred years, doesn’t it, Jenny.» She let out a nervous laugh hoping the boy would buy it.  
The boy had seen fit to call the manager after a while longer and the smart man had let them have a discount on the prices once Jenny had agreed to stop threatening people with vegetables.  
Happy with her victory Jenny had walked home with a spring in her step and a grin on her face, followed closely by an embarrassed Clara.

Clara looks at herself in the mirror for the first time after that crazy day – her hair is a mess, dishevelled and making her look like a lunatic, the dark circles under her eyes suddenly looking deeper and darker, her gaze dimmed by tiredness.  
One moment the two had been with the Doctor on some damned planet at some damned point or other in time and next thing she knew they were all parked in her flat in 2015. And he rambled away on some new quest, forgetting to drop them off back home. That’s how she found herself babysitting a lizard woman and her  
lockpicking-thugcooking-carrotwielding wife. It simply couldn’t be worse.  
She walks back to the living room where she find Jenny peacefully sleeping with her head on her wife’s lap where once had been the popcorn bowl. Vastra stares unflinchingly at the screen, unaware of the changes around her, her hand now resting on her wife’s face in the exact same place it had rested on the bowl before.  
Clara lets herself fall on the armchair, resigned to the idea of having to watch hours of documentaries before dinner.

 _“Reptilian’s sexual behaviour…”_ As soon as these words comes from the tv, the Silurian jumps up, waking a confused Jenny who, only half awake, tries to hit her assailant with the phantom carrot-cudgel she thinks she’s still holding.  
The Silurian has no time to notice it however, busy as she is looking for the remote, trying spasmodically to switch channel, her mouth letting out meaningless sounds.  
Her face shows in embarrassment shades of a previously unseen dark green and in her confusion she’s unable to turn the infernal machine off, only managing to make it worse by turning the volume up.  
«What kind of society do you live in, Miss Clara?! Such filth openly shown before supper? I though this an advanced time for humanity, but it’s imbued with immorality and obscenity!» She huffs, trying to talk over the discovery channel zoologist now showing, for all the world to see, the reproductive organs on a small lizard. Jenny starts looking interested at the screen all of a sudden and Clara cannot hold back her bark of laughter anymore. This only makes things worse and Vastra storms off, hiding out in her room until dinner time.

Once everyone is ready for bed, Vastra and Jenny warmly thank Clara for giving them her bed and choosing to sleep on the pop-corn covered sofa. With a sigh Clara makes her bed for the night, and lies down absolutely tired and happy the day is finally over. She needs her beauty sleep more than ever.  
She has just shut her eyes and has finally managed to relax when she hears some unmistakable noises coming from her bedroom. She listens carefully for more, thinking she must have surely misheard. A few soft sounds escape the closed door again. For as careful as they are trying to be, some light sound is inevitably made and it makes Clara blush to the top of her ears.  
Vastra and Jenny are having some rather satisfying marital sex in her own bed. She tries to make no noise standing up from her sofa. She walks outside, to her balcony, hoping the noises won’t reach her there. She’s not bothered that the two women love each other, that’s not the point. But she just lost Denny and she had promised him those three words would be his forever. Seeing others being so in love only made her feel even more keenly how she will never hold the one she loves again. And she can’t even talk to her best friend who is god knows where in the universe on his magic blue box.  
A cold gush of wind hits her in the face and she knows there is no point in freezing half to death when she knows perfectly well that the two women inside could go on for hours.  
Resigned, she walks back in the apartment. She reaches the bathroom on tiptoes and holds her breath while trying to noiselessly open the door. She opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out her earplugs, carefully trying not to drop the million different bottles that separate her from the waxy salvation. The more she tries to be careful, the more loudly they seem to smash against one another, making a terrible noise. The mouthwash hits the lotion that falls on the Q-tips that tumble to the floor in a white cotton waterfall. As she bends to pick them up she smashes her head on the cabinet mirror and has to bite her tongue not to scream her frustration out loud.  
Once her fingers finally reach the small box she was looking for she realizes the noises in her apartment have slowly morphed into those of Vastra’s soft snoring.  
«Dammit!» Swears Clara walking back to the sofa, where she can finally rest after a day it would be better to forget. She sends a silent prayer to the doctor to come take her wards back.


End file.
